Not that long ago, I decided that with the pending end of university and moving out, I needed to start using up some food in my freezer. So after trying and failing to guess the identity of several freezer bags worth of brown stuff, (a risk better left for another day), I came to the conclusion I should make salmon wellington. The salmon fillets and pastry were in freezer, so I popped into town and got some spinach and a jar of sundried tomatoes, (although it almost ended being a jar of spicy chillies).
I was prepared. The pastry and fish had defrosted, and I had a simply recipe to follow on my Ipad. I turned the oven on, and took the fish out of its bag. There was a slight pong, but nothing more than I would expect. I picked up the salmon fillet, and that was when I noticed it was a funny colour; a greeny brown colour. Now, not sure if my dodgy eyes had imagined things, I sent a photo to my mum (the next best thing, as my flatmate wasn’t in). After a quick phone call, she came to conclusion that if there was any doubt, it would be better not to use it….so salmon wellington was off the menu, to my immense disappointment.
All hope was not lost though. I still had the pastry, spinach, cheese and some other random vegetables, so I was determined to make something. I cleaned all traces of the fish away, and was ready to go again. I began with the rolling out of pastry. But there were lumps in my pastry! If I had made the pastry I can understand lumps, but not in shop bought perfect pastry, so I phoned my mum. My mum joked about how today was not my day to cook, and explained that frozen pastry sometimes gets lumps, but I wasn’t going to die, and to carry on cooking as normal. So I did.
It was all going swimmingly, spinach was in, cheese on top, sundried tomatoes included. It looked proper tasty (not to toot my own trumpet). I was chopping up some mushrooms, when one rolled off the worktop. I bent down, picked it up, and then proceeded to whack my head on the corner of the cupboard, when I stood up, as it was stupidly open. OUCH is all I can say. Banging your head on the cupboard door is the equivalent of hitting your elbow. It hurts, and there is nothing you can do!
I was beginning to regret my decision to cook, so before anything else could go wrong, I put the pastry thing, in the oven and began to clear up. I was taking the almost full jar of sundried tomatoes back to the fridge when it slipped out of my hand…..someone how the lid came off…resulting in a huge puddle of tomatoes and oil all over the kitchen floor and my socks.
I didn’t move for a couple of seconds, a weird combination of shock and despair. So again I phoned my mum, to ask the best way to clear up oil, (because I knew water wouldn’t do it), and being the hugely supportive mother she is, she just laughed down the phone. It was half a pity laugh, and half genuine hilarity.
Despite my mum’s helpful advice, (once she had stopped laughing) the floor was still slippery a week or so later, and I very nearly went flying, only catching myself at the last minute. As you can guess, I have no plans to make salmon wellington any time soon, the trauma once was enough, but until next time remember to find the humour in whatever form it comes. @klang_28
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